A recent virtual Zoom meeting came to a screeching halt due to a rather unexpected mishap, leaving everyone involved red-faced and speechless. The meeting, organized by O’Rielly Enterprises, was intended to be a straightforward business discussion about quarterly goals, but a technological glitch took the conversation to a remarkably different, and somewhat awkward, direction.
The mishap occurred when a participant, Mr. O’Rielly himself, inadvertently activated his camera while in the midst of rubbing an olive on his member during a meeting, which he then proceeded to eat. While the uniformly male, middle-aged, overweight, Irish-American, team of O’Rielly executives initially shrugged off the behavior as unremarkable, they became outraged when they noticed that the olive in question was of the Kalamata variety. It was at this moment when Mr. O’Rielly’s private moments (and private parts) suddenly became very public. Employees and food industry critics have taken extreme issue with O’Rielly’s stunt. Celebrity chef Damon Wallace publicly opined last week on The View exclaming, “of all the olives he could have chosen, he used a Kalamata, which is probably the worst to pair with the taste of penis skin.”
The Agricultural Cooperative of Kalamata has fired back saying, “Mr. Wallace’s statements are unprofessional and, worse, unfounded, as this so-called chef probably has a penis with skin that tastes too salty on its own, and he would be wise to cloak his dangling disaster in a hot honey or Vermont maple syrup.”
O’Rielly enterprises has declined to comment. As remote meetings become increasingly common, this unusual episode serves as a reminder that technological mishaps can make for unforgettable, and sometimes career-ending, moments in the modern workspace.
