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Home Satire

Catholic Church bullish that Artificial Intelligence unlikely to replace molestation.

by Dante Gabrielli
December 1, 2025
in Satire, World
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Catholic Church bullish that Artificial Intelligence unlikely to replace molestation.
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The Catholic Church, a venerable institution with a history spanning centuries, remains steadfast in its belief that artificial intelligence (AI) will not replace the expertise required to execute molestation on a global scale. While technological advancements continue to shape our world, the Church emphasizes that AI lacks the profound human qualities required to be so evil and far from good.

The Church acknowledges the potential benefits of AI in administrative tasks, data analysis, and even assisting with pastoral care. However, it asserts that AI can never replicate the spiritual connection, manipulation, and personal lack of morals that wide-scale, globally coordinated pedophilia requires. The essence of religious practice, with its emphasis on empathy, compassion, and human interaction, transcends the capabilities of machines.

The Church’s stance reflects a broader sentiment that, despite AI’s advancements, the human soul and its quest for meaning will always remain beyond the realm of artificial intelligence. Instead of replacing the evil, horrible Catholic Church’s only unique skill, AI may offer tools to facilitate religious practice and community engagement, further enriching the spiritual experience for believers.

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Dante Gabrielli

Dante Gabrielli

ICWT Editor-In-Chief, Dante Gabrielli is a New York based journalist, fashion designer, media mogul, and luxury branding legend. In the late 1990s, Dante started In Competence We Trust with the mission of making the world more competent. Since then, the outlet has become a cultural phenomenon enlightening readers across North America & Europe. Dante is passionate about the cold hard facts. In his spare time, Dante speaks to strangers on the streets of lower Manhattan. In Competence We Trust is a satirical media outlet. All content is to be considered satirical.

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Steve Bannon Voted People Magazine’s Most Buoyant Man of 2024
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