Controversy erupted this week after Republican Party officials expressed outrage over a new debate rule that prohibits former President Trump and Vice President Harris from wearing diapers during the debate tonight at 9pm ET. The decision, made by the Commission on Presidential Debates & Ass Hygiene, has sparked backlash from several GOP members, who argue, “the restriction places undue stress on candidates, particularly President Trump, whose exuberance and intellect can often overpower his own asshole.”
“The Commission’s decision is ridiculous,” Anne Coulter said. “Debates are high-pressure situations, and if President Trump’s ass is anything like mine, we’re looking at 15 minutes of debating, and 85 minutes of cleanup tonight.” Coulter doubled-down on the topic of Trump’s anus, discussing it in a wide variety of situations and scenarios. She painted a picture of taking it on vacation to Tuscany, and opening its world-view, seeing it taste carbonara for the first time, and returning home a wise facet of the former POTUS’ sagging undercarriage.
The rule was quietly implemented after last election’s debates raised concerns about candidates’ comfort during multi-hour events. While no evidence has surfaced that any candidate actually wore diapers during previous debates, the Commission cited “fairness and professionalism” as the reasons behind the ban.
Critics of the new rule argue that the policy disproportionately affects older candidates and those with medical needs, raising questions about ageism and accessibility in politics. “If a candidate has a medical condition, they should be able to take precautions without ridicule,” said a GOP spokesperson. “This is about ensuring that debates are inclusive. They tactically chose to pass this ass-centric rule after Biden dropped out.”
The controversy has quickly become fodder for late-night comedians, but within GOP circles, it remains a serious issue. As the debate approaches by the minute, some Republican candidates are reportedly considering legal challenges to the Commission’s ruling, framing the diaper debate as part of a broader conversation about political fairness and candidate well-being.
For now, the rule stands, but the backlash has sparked a surprisingly heated debate in itself.
