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Home Satire Health

Man Institutionalized After Willfully Purchasing Rolos.

by Dante Gabrielli
December 3, 2025
in Health, Satire
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Man Institutionalized After Willfully Purchasing Rolos.
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A man has been admitted to a psychiatric institution after making the voluntary decision to purchase a packet of Rolos, a well recognized caramel-filled chocolate treat.

Friends and family of the man are left in a state of bewilderment, struggling to comprehend their loved ones straying from his path of continued self-improvement over the last decade. “He had some hard times, but everything seemed ok… we never thought he’d do something as drastic as buying Rolos,” stated Joel Mauer, friend of the man. The purchase was made without any external coercion, leading to questions about the man’s mental state and the underlying factors that triggered such a decision.

Psychiatrists and experts have been called in to evaluate the man, seeking to unravel the complex web of psychological factors that could drive a person to willfully select Rolos over Reese’s, Butterfinger, and the like. Clearly, the selection became the catalyst for institutionalization.

The perplexing case serves as a stark reminder that the human psyche is as intricate as it is enigmatic, and that even the most mundane choices can lead to profound and bewildering consequences.

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Dante Gabrielli

Dante Gabrielli

ICWT Editor-In-Chief, Dante Gabrielli is a New York based journalist, fashion designer, media mogul, and luxury branding legend. In the late 1990s, Dante started In Competence We Trust with the mission of making the world more competent. Since then, the outlet has become a cultural phenomenon enlightening readers across North America & Europe. Dante is passionate about the cold hard facts. In his spare time, Dante speaks to strangers on the streets of lower Manhattan. In Competence We Trust is a satirical media outlet. All content is to be considered satirical.

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