A shocking and violent burglary in a quiet suburban neighborhood has left three lives tragically cut short and one survivor with a rather unexpected, albeit totally sick, memento – an R2-D2 Lego set.
The incident unfolded in the dead of night when unknown assailants broke into a family’s residence. A harrowing confrontation ensued, resulting in the loss of three lives. The two burglars were barehand strangled by a 9yo boy, who seized the opportunity to beat his elder brother (12yo), the owner of a collectors edition R2-D2 lego set, into a state of non-existence.
It was later discovered, the two burglars were identified as the parents of the young boys. A note found in the father’s jacket pocket contained plans created by the parents to break in after the kids had gone to bed, locate the R2-D2 lego set, place it in their bedroom closet undiscoverable by their sons, and blame the loss of the collectors item on a burglary, while keeping it for their own private admiration.
Questions remain about how the 9yo boy was able to overpower two grown adults. When asked about the inconsistencies, the Miami Chief of Police commented, “Have you seen how sick the lego set was, dude? People can do stuff for stuff like that. That was the parents’ one mistake.” The lone remaining family member, a 9yo boy, has not responded to request for comment as he has been busy deconstructing and reconstructing this totally fucking sick collectors edition R2-D2 lego set.