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    Mamdani will bankrupt the city. So will Cuomo, but he’s my squash partner.

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Home Satire Culture

As Paris Prepares to Hold 2024 Summer Olympics, I Prepare to Hold Throbbing Dump During Meeting in 2min.

by Gabe Nipote
December 3, 2025
in Culture, Satire
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As Paris Prepares to Hold 2024 Summer Olympics, I Prepare to Hold Throbbing Dump During Meeting in 2min.
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As Paris gears up for the 2024 Summer Olympics, a global event promising to draw millions of spectators and athletes from around the world, an equally pressing personal drama is unfolding for one local resident, myself. Just two minutes before a crucial business meeting, I am faced with the urgent need to hold in what can only be described as a “throbbing dump.”

The meeting, set to discuss pivotal responses for an enterprise software customer making unreasonable, and useless requests, involves key stakeholders and operating partners. Suddenly, I have found myself in a predicament that underscores the universal human experience: the sudden and inopportune call of nature.

Balancing the weight of professional responsibility with an undeniable biological urge, the I must summon an extraordinary level of composure. “I knew I couldn’t just leave. This meeting was critical,” I said. “But the discomfort was… overwhelming.”

Paris, a city renowned for its elegance and poise, is no stranger to challenges, from orchestrating large-scale international events to maintaining its cultural heritage. This personal ordeal, while less glamorous, highlights a common thread of resilience and determination.

Gabe Nipote

Gabe Nipote

ICWT Editor-In-Chief, Dante Gabrielli is a New York based journalist, fashion designer, media mogul, and luxury branding legend. In the late 1990s, Dante started In Competence We Trust with the mission of making the world more competent. Since then, the outlet has become a cultural phenomenon enlightening readers across North America & Europe. Dante is passionate about the cold hard facts. In his spare time, Dante speaks to strangers on the streets of lower Manhattan. In Competence We Trust is a satirical media outlet. All content is to be considered satirical.

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