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Home Satire Culture

It’s Official: Checkers is a game for morons.

by Gabe Nipote
December 3, 2025
in Culture, Satire
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It’s Official: Checkers is a game for morons.
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Researchers from the University of Toronto have published a study with conclusive evidence that Checkers, the timeless board game, is a pastime for individuals of limited intellectual prowess. This bold assertion challenges the long-standing appreciation of the game and has ignited a spirited debate on the nature of intelligence.

While some proponents argue that Checkers is a game of strategy and skill, critics contend that its simplicity compared to chess or more complex board games is indicative of a lack of intellectual challenge. Critics have also claimed that the fact that players are required to say, out loud, “king me,” during passage of play is, “really stupid.”

The dispute underscores the broader conversation about intelligence and the multifaceted ways it can be expressed. Checkers enthusiasts continue to embrace the game for its accessible and engaging nature.

Ultimately, the research shows that you should not allow anyone who cites checkers as their favorite board game manage your money.

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Gabe Nipote

Gabe Nipote

ICWT Editor-In-Chief, Dante Gabrielli is a New York based journalist, fashion designer, media mogul, and luxury branding legend. In the late 1990s, Dante started In Competence We Trust with the mission of making the world more competent. Since then, the outlet has become a cultural phenomenon enlightening readers across North America & Europe. Dante is passionate about the cold hard facts. In his spare time, Dante speaks to strangers on the streets of lower Manhattan. In Competence We Trust is a satirical media outlet. All content is to be considered satirical.

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