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It’s Settled. Chicago Deep Dish Really Is Better Than New York’s Opioid Crisis.

by Garth Binks
October 26, 2023
in Culture, Food
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It’s Settled. Chicago Deep Dish Really Is Better Than New York’s Opioid Crisis.
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The debate between Chicago’s deep dish pizza and New York’s thin crust slices has raged on for decades, despite all educated people not giving a flying fuck. While the battle of the crusts continues, a closer look at the water quality in New York raises important questions about the quality of life for its residents.

Meet Chester Donfiore, a Chicago native and an avid smoker. Chester, like many others, has found solace in the comforting embrace of Chicago’s iconic deep dish pizza. However, his story takes a turn toward the unexpected. Chester’s health issues have led him to reevaluate his diet. Amongst his concerns is an inflamed rectum, causing digestive problems. This predicament underscores the importance of dietary choices and their impact on an individual’s overall well-being. 

Meanwhile, in the Big Apple, New York City has not been immune to the nationwide opioid epidemic. The crisis is characterized by the misuse of prescription opioids, the proliferation of illicit drugs like heroin and fentanyl, and the devastating consequences that follow. The opioid epidemic is a multifaceted issue, a public health crisis that transcends socioeconomic boundaries, affecting both the wealthy and the marginalized. While Chicago’s culinary creation, the deep dish pizza, is celebrated for its layers of gooey cheese, rich tomato sauce, and hearty toppings, it’s important to recognize the broader context. 

In a world where food is cherished and water is a basic human right, the discussion over Chicago deep dish pizza vs. New York’s opioid crisis remains a topic of great significance. While Chester Donfiore’s health challenges highlight the importance of dietary choices, New Yorkers’ ongoing concerns about opioids underscore the need for immediate action and education. Ultimately, both cities offer their unique charm and challenges, and the debate will persist. For now, let’s remember that amidst the pizza slices and fentanyl tests, the well-being of individuals like Chester and communities at large should always take precedence.

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Garth Binks

Garth Binks

Garth Binks doesn't pull any punches. Known for uniquely hardline commentary and an ability to poke at the intangible contradictions pervading society, we never cease in our desire to know: What Binks Thinks. In Competence We Trust is a satirical media outlet. All content is to be considered satire.

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