• About
  • Advertise
  • Shop
  • Careers
  • Contact Us
Sunday, June 14, 2026
  • Login
No Result
View All Result
In Competence We Trust
NEWSLETTER
  • Talk Show
  • Satire
    • All
    • Business
    • Culture
    • Health
    • Politics
    • World
    Mamdani will bankrupt the city. So will Cuomo, but he’s my squash partner.

    Mamdani will bankrupt the city. So will Cuomo, but he’s my squash partner.

    Steve Bannon Voted People Magazine’s Most Buoyant Man of 2024

    Steve Bannon Voted People Magazine’s Most Buoyant Man of 2024

    Seasonal Depression? You Might Just Live in Boston

    Seasonal Depression? You Might Just Live in Boston

    Is Feminism Holding Women Back?

    Is Feminism Holding Women Back?

  • Investigative
  • Opinion
  • Wit
  • Talk Show
  • Satire
    • All
    • Business
    • Culture
    • Health
    • Politics
    • World
    Mamdani will bankrupt the city. So will Cuomo, but he’s my squash partner.

    Mamdani will bankrupt the city. So will Cuomo, but he’s my squash partner.

    Steve Bannon Voted People Magazine’s Most Buoyant Man of 2024

    Steve Bannon Voted People Magazine’s Most Buoyant Man of 2024

    Seasonal Depression? You Might Just Live in Boston

    Seasonal Depression? You Might Just Live in Boston

    Is Feminism Holding Women Back?

    Is Feminism Holding Women Back?

  • Investigative
  • Opinion
  • Wit
No Result
View All Result
IN COMPETENCE WE TRUST
No Result
View All Result
Home Satire Culture

It’s Settled. Chicago Deep Dish Really Is Better Than New York’s Opioid Crisis.

by Garth Binks
December 3, 2025
in Culture, Satire
0
It’s Settled. Chicago Deep Dish Really Is Better Than New York’s Opioid Crisis.
0
SHARES
20
VIEWS
Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

The debate between Chicago’s deep dish pizza and New York’s thin crust slices has raged on for decades, despite all educated people not giving a flying fuck. While the battle of the crusts continues, a closer look at the water quality in New York raises important questions about the quality of life for its residents.

Meet Chester Donfiore, a Chicago native and an avid smoker. Chester, like many others, has found solace in the comforting embrace of Chicago’s iconic deep dish pizza. However, his story takes a turn toward the unexpected. Chester’s health issues have led him to reevaluate his diet. Amongst his concerns is an inflamed rectum, causing digestive problems. This predicament underscores the importance of dietary choices and their impact on an individual’s overall well-being. 

Meanwhile, in the Big Apple, New York City has not been immune to the nationwide opioid epidemic. The crisis is characterized by the misuse of prescription opioids, the proliferation of illicit drugs like heroin and fentanyl, and the devastating consequences that follow. The opioid epidemic is a multifaceted issue, a public health crisis that transcends socioeconomic boundaries, affecting both the wealthy and the marginalized. While Chicago’s culinary creation, the deep dish pizza, is celebrated for its layers of gooey cheese, rich tomato sauce, and hearty toppings, it’s important to recognize the broader context. 

In a world where food is cherished and water is a basic human right, the discussion over Chicago deep dish pizza vs. New York’s opioid crisis remains a topic of great significance. While Chester Donfiore’s health challenges highlight the importance of dietary choices, New Yorkers’ ongoing concerns about opioids underscore the need for immediate action and education. Ultimately, both cities offer their unique charm and challenges, and the debate will persist. For now, let’s remember that amidst the pizza slices and fentanyl tests, the well-being of individuals like Chester and communities at large should always take precedence.

Tags: Editor's PickSpotlight
Garth Binks

Garth Binks

Garth Binks doesn't pull any punches. Known for uniquely hardline commentary and an ability to poke at the intangible contradictions pervading society, we never cease in our desire to know: What Binks Thinks. In Competence We Trust is a satirical media outlet. All content is to be considered satire.

Read More... Get Smarter

Steve Bannon Voted People Magazine’s Most Buoyant Man of 2024
Politics

Steve Bannon Voted People Magazine’s Most Buoyant Man of 2024

December 1, 2025
Seasonal Depression? You Might Just Live in Boston
Satire

Seasonal Depression? You Might Just Live in Boston

December 1, 2025
Is Feminism Holding Women Back?
Politics

Is Feminism Holding Women Back?

December 3, 2025
Move Over Reba McEntire… You’re Sitting Way Too Close to Me
Culture

Move Over Reba McEntire… You’re Sitting Way Too Close to Me

December 3, 2025
Load More
Next Post
Man Institutionalized After Willfully Purchasing Rolos.

Man Institutionalized After Willfully Purchasing Rolos.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Subscribe to our weekly newsletter!

Subscribe to In Competence We Trust's weekly newsletter to get our newest stuff delivered straight to your inbox. We'll keep you company on the toilet.

Spotlight

Steve Bannon Voted People Magazine’s Most Buoyant Man of 2024
Politics

Steve Bannon Voted People Magazine’s Most Buoyant Man of 2024

by Gabe Nipote
December 1, 2025
0

In an unexpected nod from People Magazine, political strategist Steve Bannon has been named the “Most Buoyant Man of 2024.”...

Read more
Seasonal Depression? You Might Just Live in Boston

Seasonal Depression? You Might Just Live in Boston

December 1, 2025
Is Feminism Holding Women Back?

Is Feminism Holding Women Back?

December 3, 2025
Move Over Reba McEntire… You’re Sitting Way Too Close to Me

Move Over Reba McEntire… You’re Sitting Way Too Close to Me

December 3, 2025
RFK Outraged That Hot Dogs No Longer Made From Real Dog

RFK Outraged That Hot Dogs No Longer Made From Real Dog

December 3, 2025
Youtube Instagram TikTok Twitter

Subscribe to our weekly newsletter!

Subscribe to In Competence We Trust’s weekly newsletter to get our newest stuff delivered straight to your inbox. We’ll keep you company on the toilet.

And follow us on Instagram @incompetencewetrust

Browse by Category

  • Business
  • Culture
  • Health
  • Other
  • Politics
  • Satire
  • World

© 2026 - In Competence We Trust

Welcome Back!

Login to your account below

Forgotten Password?

Retrieve your password

Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

Log In
No Result
View All Result
  • Talk Show
  • Satire
  • Investigative
  • Opinion
  • Wit

© 2026 - In Competence We Trust