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Home Satire Business

Man takes out mortgage to add shrimp to salad.

by Gabe Nipote
December 3, 2025
in Business, Satire
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Man takes out mortgage to add shrimp to salad.
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In a culinary saga reflecting the evolving landscape of modern gastronomy, Mr. Theodore Henderson’s decision to take out a mortgage for an unusual purpose sheds light on the escalating costs of indulgence in today’s culinary scene. Faced with the exorbitant prices of salad add-ons in upscale eateries, Mr. Henderson found himself at a crossroads: compromise his discerning palate or take matters into his own hands.

With shrimp prices skyrocketing and avocado slices commanding a premium, Mr. Henderson’s mortgage maneuver emerged as a radical solution to maintain his culinary standards without breaking the bank. “The cost of quality ingredients is becoming prohibitive,” he laments, as he surveys the aisles of gourmet markets where even a handful of shrimp can dent one’s wallet.

His decision, while unconventional, highlights a broader trend of consumers grappling with the rising costs of dining out and the premium placed on gourmet experiences. As Mr. Henderson expertly balances financial prudence with epicurean passion, his mortgage-funded salads serve as a poignant symbol of the lengths some are willing to go for a taste of culinary excellence in an increasingly expensive world.

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Gabe Nipote

Gabe Nipote

ICWT Editor-In-Chief, Dante Gabrielli is a New York based journalist, fashion designer, media mogul, and luxury branding legend. In the late 1990s, Dante started In Competence We Trust with the mission of making the world more competent. Since then, the outlet has become a cultural phenomenon enlightening readers across North America & Europe. Dante is passionate about the cold hard facts. In his spare time, Dante speaks to strangers on the streets of lower Manhattan. In Competence We Trust is a satirical media outlet. All content is to be considered satirical.

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Steve Bannon Voted People Magazine’s Most Buoyant Man of 2024
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